What better way to get back on track, then giving a report card to acknowledge the progress of the team thus far? Without further ado:
The Pitchers:
Jeremy Bonderman, C+.
I didn't have high hopes for Bondo when the season began. I thought after 1.5 season away from the game would deter his success. However, he has pitched better than his record has suggested. He has been trying to reinvent himself into a thinking pitcher, so, invite Kenny Rogers out for a series, buy him some beers, and pick his brain. I think by the end of the season he'll be a respectable #3 starter; decent, but not overwhelming.
Eddie Bonine, A-.
Bonine has been pretty effective out of the pen... so much so, I was hoping to see him promoted to the rotation when then dismissed Mad Max to Toledo. In 16 appearances, he has a 3-0 record, and ERA standing at 1.59, and on average only allows 1 hit per appearance. Not bad. I'd give him a solid A if not for the 9 walks.
Phil Coke, B.
I dig Coke (of the baseball kind) for several reasons. First, I think my fiance looks like him. Second, at Spring Training, he stopped on his way of the park while driving THE MOST GIGANTIC TRUCK EVER, and signed autographs for everyone that asked. Third, he has been mostly effective out of the pen. A 3-0 record, an ERA under 3.50, and the league is hitting .239 off him. He needs better control though as evidenced by two HB, and 8 runs allowed in 19 innings. I suspect he is the kind who needs to pitch a clean inning ( a la Miner).
Alfredo Figaro, F.
Figaro=fail. Moving on.
Arrrrrrrmmmmmannnndo Galarraga, Incomplete.
I can't grade a pitcher off of one performance (even if it was a performance that had me doing the happy dance: 5 2/3 innings, 1 run, 3 hits). Take it one game at a time, he of the best name to yell, and you might stick around for the long haul.
Fu-Te Ni, B-/C+.
I love Fu-Te Ni. He reminds me of Ramon Santiago a tad: a little dude, quiet, goes about his business, and if you give him a chance, he'll deliver for you. However, I don't think Leyland is giving Ni the love for one reason: all those damn walks. If Ni can cut down on the free passes, he'd get a higher grade from me-and more calls from Leyland.
Ryan Perry, C+.
Oh, Ryan Perry, he of the great tattoos and the only man in the pen that can actually rock the mohawk. Are his stats good? Sure. Why am I giving him a fair grade? He needs to think more when he pitches! He is Zumaya circa '07 (when he'd actually pitch): He is just throwing, and hoping for swings and misses. Think young boy, think, and you'll be Valverde's successor, not Zoom.
Rick Porcello, B-.
Dreamboat Rick only rates this high because he has been improving since the start of the season--oh but the start of the season made me wonder of a sophomore slump. Does he feel like after getting the ball in game 163 he has nothing left to prove? I don't know, but your name is not Justin Verlander, I'm just saying...
Max Scherzer, D-.
Mad Max, I had high hopes for you. Ugh. I hope half a season in Toledo does you good son, because you are not allowed to come back until you learn not to give up five runs in the first inning.
Brad Thomas, C.
Eddie Bonine you are not. I was disappointed that DD offered you a MILLION DOLLARS in the off season, because you were an unspectacular risk. You have been solid, have a knack for pitching out of trouble (do you hang out with Dontrelle in the off time?), and sometimes give me heart palpitations. You'll do well enough this season to snag a multi-year deal from some crappy team like the Astros--and then probably turn into a kick ass reliever (see, Durbin, Chad of the Phillies and Byrdak, Tim of the Astros).
Jose Valverde, A.
I approved of this deal in the off season, when most others did not. He is a shut the door closer (something we haven't had since we played on the corner of Trumbull) and brings a swagger to the mound that the rest of the bullpen feeds off of. Who cares if Papa Grande does the Mashed Potato on the mound after each save, because he can do whatever he wants when he strikes out A-roid!
Justin Verlander, B+.
In the month of April, he didn't have that evil glint to his eye. I was afraid that he was suffering from new contract-itis (I'm looking at you Josh Beckett, for screwing up my fantasy team stats). By May, he looks like he eats kittens for breakfast. Welcome back, JV. This may be the year you win the Cy Young.
Dontrelle Willis, C.
The object of Tim's man crush is such an enigma. If Willis can get through the season with 8 wins, an ERA hovering around 5, and the Tigers above .500, the season will be a total win for both parties. The Tigers will not resign him, but be gracious about it, and we can usher in the era of Casey Crosby...
Joel Zumaya, B+
Welcome back, Zoom. I had once labeled you the Mark Fidyrich of my generation, but your 2.08 ERA, and your OPP avg of .248 makes me wonder if you really, and truly, are back. You have been the perfect set up man for Papa Grande, so take notes, so you can inherit his job one day...
Overall, thank goodness the bullpen has been dominant, because the rotation has had some question marks in it. Starters, 6 and 2/3 innings is what I want from you guys, you hear me? Bullpen, keep doing that thing you do (even if it does mean giving each other mohawks).
Alfredo Figaro, F.
Figaro=fail. Moving on.
Arrrrrrrmmmmmannnndo Galarraga, Incomplete.
I can't grade a pitcher off of one performance (even if it was a performance that had me doing the happy dance: 5 2/3 innings, 1 run, 3 hits). Take it one game at a time, he of the best name to yell, and you might stick around for the long haul.
Fu-Te Ni, B-/C+.
I love Fu-Te Ni. He reminds me of Ramon Santiago a tad: a little dude, quiet, goes about his business, and if you give him a chance, he'll deliver for you. However, I don't think Leyland is giving Ni the love for one reason: all those damn walks. If Ni can cut down on the free passes, he'd get a higher grade from me-and more calls from Leyland.
Ryan Perry, C+.
Oh, Ryan Perry, he of the great tattoos and the only man in the pen that can actually rock the mohawk. Are his stats good? Sure. Why am I giving him a fair grade? He needs to think more when he pitches! He is Zumaya circa '07 (when he'd actually pitch): He is just throwing, and hoping for swings and misses. Think young boy, think, and you'll be Valverde's successor, not Zoom.
Rick Porcello, B-.
Dreamboat Rick only rates this high because he has been improving since the start of the season--oh but the start of the season made me wonder of a sophomore slump. Does he feel like after getting the ball in game 163 he has nothing left to prove? I don't know, but your name is not Justin Verlander, I'm just saying...
Max Scherzer, D-.
Mad Max, I had high hopes for you. Ugh. I hope half a season in Toledo does you good son, because you are not allowed to come back until you learn not to give up five runs in the first inning.
Brad Thomas, C.
Eddie Bonine you are not. I was disappointed that DD offered you a MILLION DOLLARS in the off season, because you were an unspectacular risk. You have been solid, have a knack for pitching out of trouble (do you hang out with Dontrelle in the off time?), and sometimes give me heart palpitations. You'll do well enough this season to snag a multi-year deal from some crappy team like the Astros--and then probably turn into a kick ass reliever (see, Durbin, Chad of the Phillies and Byrdak, Tim of the Astros).
Jose Valverde, A.
I approved of this deal in the off season, when most others did not. He is a shut the door closer (something we haven't had since we played on the corner of Trumbull) and brings a swagger to the mound that the rest of the bullpen feeds off of. Who cares if Papa Grande does the Mashed Potato on the mound after each save, because he can do whatever he wants when he strikes out A-roid!
Justin Verlander, B+.
In the month of April, he didn't have that evil glint to his eye. I was afraid that he was suffering from new contract-itis (I'm looking at you Josh Beckett, for screwing up my fantasy team stats). By May, he looks like he eats kittens for breakfast. Welcome back, JV. This may be the year you win the Cy Young.
Dontrelle Willis, C.
The object of Tim's man crush is such an enigma. If Willis can get through the season with 8 wins, an ERA hovering around 5, and the Tigers above .500, the season will be a total win for both parties. The Tigers will not resign him, but be gracious about it, and we can usher in the era of Casey Crosby...
Joel Zumaya, B+
Welcome back, Zoom. I had once labeled you the Mark Fidyrich of my generation, but your 2.08 ERA, and your OPP avg of .248 makes me wonder if you really, and truly, are back. You have been the perfect set up man for Papa Grande, so take notes, so you can inherit his job one day...
Overall, thank goodness the bullpen has been dominant, because the rotation has had some question marks in it. Starters, 6 and 2/3 innings is what I want from you guys, you hear me? Bullpen, keep doing that thing you do (even if it does mean giving each other mohawks).
A C FOR WILLIS!!!!?!?!??! are you crazy?? Hell, he would be an easy A- if the team would back him up a bit. How can you increase confidence when you are constantly pitching a game behind the runs???
ReplyDeleteOther than that...I mostly agree with you :P Except for his past couple outings Zumaya should be in the A range...Bonderman is kind of in the Willis department as well.
So, will the next post be rating the batters? Cuz Willis better be higher than some of those so-called professionals on our team (San-tee it-up-in-the-air-for-an-easy-out ago)